eavesdrop

a poem (escapril day two)

no one tucked me in tonight and so i didn’t actually brush my teeth, just ran the water, 

and i didn’t actually pray my rosary, just cried for god to love me. 

no one tucked me in tonight so unkissed and cold, i untangle myself from the sheets and seek warmth.

mother told me never to turn on the gas unless the match is already lit,

she said to never leave the candles unattended. so why is one burning here in the living room, 

while i stand still cold, and all alone?

i can hear voices somewhere, whispers oozing out in the way they shouldn’t. 

father told me it’s unladylike to listen in unless spoken to, but no one tucked me in tonight so who cares if i’m not a lady, i’m not even a child. and so i decide it’s my business to listen.

behind the door i hear my name, sung like a lament, quiet like a ghost and cautious like a secret.

i’m reminded i’m just a girl barefoot on tile – ears burning, body cold. 

i’m just a girl with teeth collected under her pillows and no loose change. 

i’m just a girl who wants to know everything, even if everything is a curse.

and i wasn’t tucked in tonight and probably won’t be tomorrow either.